The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
