There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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