He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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