She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
