I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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