I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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