lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
