A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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