so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize