She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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