i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize