I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
