Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
