so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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