It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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