This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
