yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
