Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
