How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
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