Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
