...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
