Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
