im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
