dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
