ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize