I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
