its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize