i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize