Soap is not a condiment
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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