Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
