oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
