Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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