Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
