I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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