Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
