Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
