You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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