The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
