I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
