i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
