cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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