hotel room ftw
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
