5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize