no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Randomize
