The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize