Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize