I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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