There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
