Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize