In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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