btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
