wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize