That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
